FOOD FOR THOUGHT.

Ever wondered where creativity comes from? Well, I’ll tell you...it’s not in the water, so don’t waste your time with that. It’s in junk food, beer and snackage. It’s a simple fact that I am far more creative when I’m snacking than when I’m not. Or, I snack far more when I’m creative than when I’m not. But either way, the two are connected. 

So, in case there are those of you who also want to be more creative, I’ve decided to share some of my gems. Here is a list of the food or beverage and the kind of creative activity one might expect it to yield. That one being me. For you, I don’t know. 

Cheez-its: High rate of return. Each bite-sized cracker contains a jolt of creativity. And it’s exponential, because you can never eat just a handful. 

(Page count—up to 15 per serving.)

Coke: If there is no beer or you’re in some situation wherein you’re not allowed the luxury of beer...Coke is it. And definitely if you’re in for soda there is no substitute. I drank a Pepsi once instead because it was all there was. Trust me, if that’s the case, choose death (of your creative project), because it’s going to suck if it’s written under the influence of Pepsi anyway. 

(Page count—up to 5 per serving.)

Beer: Nuff said. 

(Page count—whose counting?)

Chocolate milk: Underestimated. But definitely a standby. Even more underestimated? The wonder of chocolate milk combined with Cheez-its. Not joking. 

(Page count—up to 2.5 per serving.)

Hard-boiled eggs with hot sauce: Alright, this one I picked up from a friend, and I thought it was a little nuts. But man, if you aren’t planning on being near anyone 6-12 hours after, go for it. 

(Page count—up to 3 per serving, 5 if you count the productivity that will come later, if you know what I mean.)

French fries: Awful. They’re good for a lot of things, but they’re not creative in the slightest. And no, adding chili and cheese doesn’t help.

(Page count—0.)

Nachos: I’m sorry, did someone say Nachos? If so, I think there might be somebody reading this over your shoulder. Act natural, and restart. Then throw your coffee over your left shoulder. Feel the creative juices flowing? Hell yeah, nachos are awesome.

(Page count—up to 1 per serving, but it’s worth it.)

SCRATCH THIS.

Sorry. Scratch that. I meant for the headline to be Scratch that. My mistake. 

Anyway. Recently, in trying to think of a new show to write, I pulled down a box of old writings. I have many boxes like this (maybe too many), filled with everything from scrap shreds of paper with lone ideas scribbled down, to full folders bulging with pages written, revised and re-written. 

I’ve decided to make this a regular entry topic on this blog, under which I will share excerpts from my back pages. Let’s begin with some play ideas I found. These are in no particular chronology or order. Enjoy.

1. 1.An existential comedy about a man who, after searching the Earth far and wide for the meaning of life, finally finds it in the heel of an old pair of deck shoes. But, before he gets a chance to enjoy the discovery, dies of high cholesterol and is reincarnated as a hair inside someone’s nose.
   

2. 2.A slapstick psychological thriller about a mob boss who accidentally puts a hit out on himself. Title: Unorganized Crime.
   

3. 3.Imagine an elderly superhero whose powers aren’t     what they used to be. Who can never remember where they left the top to their outfit. And who has had it up to here with the neighbors letting their dog poop in the front garden. Possible hero name — Crab Po’boy.